Kelly

Many of you know I have a handicapped sister. Her name is Kelly. I wanted to write about her because she will never have a Facebook page, a blog of her life insights, children to carry on stories of their wonderful mother, no direct descendant to keep her life history. I wanted to share her with you because my next adventure will be becoming the keeper of Kelly, and our lives as sisters will once again be day to day intertwined.

Kelly was born on Sept 20th 1957. She was the first grandchild on both sides of the family. My parents didn't know anything was wrong with Kelly until she was 6 months old. My mom said they noticed Kelly wasn't hitting the milestones of a normal baby. My Gram told me she remembered the day when my father rode the bus to her house, carrying Kelly, and he broke down sobbing as he told her the news, that the doctors told them Kelly was "mentally retarded", as it was called back then. 

   The normal course of action was to put them in an institution, or a "home". My parents received lots of advice and opinions, but everyone loved Kelly and she was staying with her family.

      I dont remember when I knew Kelly was different. I just knew from the time I was little that we watched out for her, I had asked one time what happened to her, because my friends were asking me, and my mother told me she had brain damage. In my young years the only way I could imagine that you damage your brain is by hitting your head on a rock, so that is what I told everyone!           

 My Nana loved Kelly dearly. She loved us too, but Kelly held a special place in her heart. I remember very distinctly my grandmother saying to me and my brother " Now you kids promise me that your sister will never end up in a "home"-, you promise me?" I remember my promise to my grandmother, we made it to her many times.. I just always knew I would be the one to care for Kelly, that I wouldnt break my promise to my grandmother. It just has been always sometime in the distant future. 

Kelly has the abilities of a 4 yr year old in some areas- dressing herself (her clothes are twisted and backward if she does it herself) Brushing her teeth (she will brush the front two only) showering ( she'll wash the top of each arm only) but the abilities of an older age in other things- she empties the dishwasher, she can stay home alone if you have to run a quick errand ( she'll just watch tv and wait for you) She puts things away you leave out. She's sharp as a tack in a lot of areas and gives us a good laugh! She has spent her life happy and fairly quiet, asking very little of this life's pleasures. She LOVES the Partridge family, David Cassidy and the Beatles.( Its getting impossible to find her gifts because she has everything they've put out 10x over!!)

 The "distant future" is approaching, and it's different than I imagined. My parents are now in their late 70's and mid 80's taking care of a handicapped adult,( who is getting old and cranky herself!) I dont think I ever envisioned the whole scene- I guess I just envisioned my parents well and healthy, caring for Kelly, me happily being a grandma doting on all my grandkids, and someday just being handed Kelly. Pulling my head out of the cloud, it isnt going that way. My parents are getting old and having health issues, more frequent hospital trip etc, my grandkids arent all nearby ,and Tim and I live in an empty 5 bedroom house. Soooo, Tim and I are deciding that we are moving to be near my parents and Kelly, to help care day to day for the whole group. Heading into my next adventure!!

New Direction part 2

   I don't like to go to the doctor, but it was time to face the music and find out what was up. Lab work found high fasting glucose levels- which I expected from my eating habits, and a really low vitamin D level. I knew in my head that the way I was eating was causing all my issues, but I'd eaten this way my whole life! I work in a physical health environment and I have a wonderful boss ( I dont like to call her my "boss" because she is really my mentor and dear friend) She actually PAYS us to read books that improve us in any way possible. She has a wonderful library she shares with us and encourages us to read from. There have been so many things from those books stored away in my head so I decided now was the time to put all the things that seemed to fit for me to work!
     Sooooo, the first of the year I decided I would stop sugar, diet soda and white flour. I wasnt going to follow any "diet" because they all tell you what you can and cant eat with their particular theory. I'm not much of a diet rule follower (Obviously!), I'm a fly by the seat of my pants girl, and this was going to be my own plan, my own way. If I ate this or that, it was ok because I chose it, and I could also choose my next bite .Long story short- I have lost 14 lbs since the first week of Jan,( even tho' this wasnt my goal, I hoped it would be added bonus) eating 3 meals a day with a snack of nuts and fruit/vegetable between.  I can stay wake all day, my hand and feet numbness is almost gone, I can walk down the stairs like I used to, I am no longer hungry all the time, I no longer think about eating all the time and no longer have that ravenously starving feeling-ever! Do I miss sugar? Heck ya- I was addicted to it for over 50 years! Have I had sugar in these past weeks? Ask my daughters who left the last slice of chocolate silk pie on my counter because no one could finish it :) Yes, I have had  piece of something here and there, but I eat a whole day of nutritious food ,and sugar very rarely. When sugary treats are around, I make a mental picture of a block of white sugar in the shape of the treat, and I imagine my pancreas trying to deal with it.

In my recent trip to the grocery store I was mentally able to take this view and see wrappers full of white sugar, and bags/boxes filled with white flour. Something has clicked in my head and I dont think I can ever go back. I'm taking it steps at a time, I"m not "organic", "Paleo"  calorie counting, whatever, I'm just learning to find new flavors- nuts, seeds, fruits/veg of all kinds, fish, chicken, eggs, whole grains, and amaze myself at feeling satisfied, I'm never "starving" anymore! Does anyone want to join me? Have any success stories to share? I'd love to hear from you and I'll keep you updated now and then on how its going!

In a new direction- part 1 ( its gonna be long!)

I was having trouble lately. My hands and feet were completely numb upon waking. It took a few minutes to stand on my legs.  Every joint in my body was hurting, I had to walk down our stairs one at a time. I remembered my Nana, who had emphysema , walk stairs like this. I was too young for all this, especially living with Mr Fit-ride 60 Miles to Relax Guy and he's 7 yrs older than me! I knew I needed to make a life style change but I didn't know what would work for me, I mean mentally, as I had done this over and over again in my lifetime. But now I was serious,  I don't have another 50 years, and it was time to take control of the time I have left.  I'd done Weight Watchers a million times because it's supposedly healthy, but I found myself eventually using all my "points" to eat carbs and junk I liked, just in smaller portions. I wasn't healthier, just thinner and hungry. I tried vegan but missed meat,and tired quickly of vegetables.

  For a while I was gathering information in my head, trying to figure a game plan for myself. I decided weight loss would not be the game plan, getting healthy in a way that fit ME would be my plan. I just didnt know when I was ready to do this. But my health was getting worse, I lived on fast food ( I have no one home to cook for, I hate cooking, Tim's schedule is opposite of mine) Diet Coke all day long to keep me awake and from snacking(which I did anyway!)

 I had read all the dangers of Diet soda..blah blah blah, but since it hadnt killed me yet, and it was my "happy place" ( and I was seriously addicted and didnt want to stop) I wasnt sure what I'd replace it with when/if I gave it up- I couldnt gag water down!
 One day in church we were reading about Daniel, and something  started to click. He asked that he not have to eat the King's rich food, but be allowed to eat "pulse" and drink water.  In 10 days he was in noticeably better condition than those who had the "better" food. He had also received knowledge and wisdom. (My brain was in a fog and I couldnt retain info or pay attention longer that a few minutes) I looked up Pulse and found that depending on  different versions it was seeds, grains, herbs , fruit and vegetables. Hmm, imagine that!  I'd also started reading the Bible from the beginning and when Adam and Eve were sent from the garden, and now had mortal bodies to care for, the Lord said "...cursed is the ground for thy sake...shall eat of it all the days of thy life." To care for their "new " bodies they were to eat things that grew from the ground! Not Diet Coke, powdered sugar donuts,  Doritos or McDonalds. 
 I decided, with the Lord's help, it was time for a REAL change. But what would my change be and would I be able to do it?  Stay tuned! - if you're still awake;)

Let's get started!

I've been wanting to get started on a new blog on my life over 50. It's so different from my life before 50!

I'd been a mom, and that's all I'd ever dreamed of, and it was better then I ever imagined! But now my kids are grown and are now all parents themselves, experiencing the joys I once did. I love watching them parent, and adore this stage of being " Nana". I reflect on my own Nana often, and I feel I am much like her. I miss her  more often these days, and wish she could just stop in for a moment so I could  show her my wonderful family. I even got myself glasses that remind me of her:) Hopefully you'll stay tuned and come along for the ride ;)